Unwritten rules of dating for women

For many young people the only way to date is to find someone who lives and works nearby—and spend time together during the long commute.Public displays affection when you’re in a relationship are very common in Brazil.Playing hard to get has the disadvantage of making you appear shy and retiring, or downright rude, when that may not be the case at all.How many relationships have failed to get off the ground because of one person’s apparent reluctance, and the other’s (false) assumption that they’re dealing with a true introvert?If the other person seems reluctant to meet up it might be worth querying their feelings for you. This is a little like the rules of playing hard to get; if you’re interested then you need to let the other person know that they’re not wasting their time – and that you’d very much like to continue your liaisons offline as well as on. It’s better than them assuming you’re flakey, or disinterested.

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The long working hours, the endless traffic and the pressure to keep up appearances in a city that idolises wealth often leave people exhausted by the weekends, which are packed with lavish weddings and lengthy church services. Tinder, a dating app where users reject or select potential partners by swiping left or right, has not proved as popular in Lagos as it is with time-poor young people elsewhere.

Besides, what are you going to do when fellow daters finally meet you and realise you’re not all you made yourself out to be?

Playing hard to get may have worked ‘back in the day’, but very few modern daters have time for the chase; there’s a fine line between coy and just not interested, after all.

If you’re looking for a partner, assert that desire.

It can be tempting to keep things polite, and to skirt around the issues of a physical meeting for as long as possible. However, there’s only so much that you can discuss without having had a face-to-face encounter. Many experts recommend a maximum of half a dozen messages, combined, before you take things offline. Don’t be afraid to tell your new partner that your lack of communication is down to a hectic schedule.

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